We attended a funeral today. It was ordinary. Ordinary in that the attendees were clad in dark clothing, the backdrop was drenched in flowers, the hymns sung were such that might offer hope and reassurance. But, it was also, extraordinary. At least for me. Where I am. Right now and in my life. It was extraordinary, because I found it positively uplifting. What?! No, really. Uplifting, positively. Here was a life lived. Here were memories shared. Here were families and friends gathered. Oh, that we could never forget the beauty that comes from raw emotion coupled with a passion to learn from and lean into each other. That we could never forget how magnificent is the feeling of uninhibited embrace and the free flow of self. We have nothing more to lose on day such as this. Dignity, pride, appearances. Nothing more to lose.
I found that my tears did not well up from loss, however, but from gain. Each person in that room had gained from this man’s life, just from knowing him and experiencing him. He, himself, had been ordinary. Hardworking, loving, full of dreams - both realized and put aside. But, in the end, in his end, he had left an extraordinary legacy. He had changed everyone in that room and would continue to do so.
We sometimes underestimate the potential that we have to inspire, to breathe passion and positivity into someone else. We think that if there is not a pulpit or a limelight or a reputation which proceeds us, that our voice is but a mere whisper amongst the shouts of the world. We think that our actions are invisible deeds, unseen by eyes laser focused on a myriad of so many other distractions. But we are wrong. Every word spoken matters. Every kindness counts.
I know that in these moments, like most other powerful and dramatic happenings, we make observations our befuddled and overwhelmed brains, might otherwise miss. These observations drive us toward action in the form of a promise - to change something, to live a more purposeful life. I don’t want to make a promise that I cannot and realistically will not keep. So instead of seeking ways to change and things to be purposeful about, what if we just came to the realization that our ordinary to someone else, might just be spectacular? What if, instead, we claimed strength in who we are to those around us, an awareness that presence is potential and memories are the making of individuals. Would not that knowledge in itself challenge us everyday to be present in a positive way? Would it not naturally lead us toward making minutes precious? If we understood the magnitude that our moments might matter to someone else, so much so that they recounted it on our deathbed, how better would we spend our lives!
As I look back at what made me who I am today, I find that most often it is not a what but a who. Sometimes I can name them, other times, even their faces are a blur. Some are strangers, never met, whose gift came forth only (yet powerfully) through a story told about or by them. But what is completely clear is that what they did or said or showed, changed me profoundly. My eyes and ears and heart were opened by them and I am daily blessed by experiencing the world differently because of them.
You, you…. are someone’s compass, someone’s peace, someone’s cheerleader, someone’s extraordinary. Right where you are, right now. Not because there is a spotlight, not because of a degree or prestigious title, not even because they asked. They deserve all of you, your best, your raw, your today and right now.
I find it positively uplifting, this truth that each of us possesses great power to affect others. Our legacy may not always be billboard advertised, but if you recognize the worth you have and can share, it will be meaningful and eternal.
